I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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