I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
