11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
