I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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