Barsexuality is the new black.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize