Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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