Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
