Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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