I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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