Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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