I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Welp...herpes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
