he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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