I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
