i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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