I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
