i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
