she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
