She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
