similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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