so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
