Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
