I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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