I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
