I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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