when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
