I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
