Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
