I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Pappa wants mamma naked
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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