you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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