You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
