Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
