I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize