i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize