I'm going to jail i love you
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
