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• (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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• (716): View more from New York

  ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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• (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country

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• (212): View more from New York

  We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.

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