My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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