It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
