I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
