Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
