You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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