go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i already hear my dad disowning me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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