yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
