i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
