he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
