He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
