how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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