I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
