Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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