I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
