I need help removing her.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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