I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
