I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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