yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
