I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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