i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
