Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
