Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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