Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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