STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
