watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Mom said you looked used
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
