Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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