on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
