But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
