This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
