I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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