i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize