i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
