what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
