oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
