This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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