You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
