There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
