So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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